How can you Practice Self-Control according to Buddhist Monks?

Do you wish that you had more self-control over yourself?

Maybe with increased self-control you’d have been able to lose that weight you were planning to lose at the start of the year. Or, you might have learned that new skill by now which you’ve been looking to master for some time now.

Whatever it is, you know that your life would be way better off with better self-control.

Self-Control is the act of discarding your weaker thoughts, the same thoughts that drag you down, and doubling down on your positive and good actions.

Above all, self-control will give a sense of freedom. In a world where the majority of people are slaves to their impulses, by being able to achieve mental mastery, there is really nothing holding you away from reaching all of your dreams and goals.

“The person who masters himself through self-control and discipline is truly undefeatable”

Gautama Buddha

What Self-Control might mean to you

You’ve set the goal of losing weight and promised yourself your gonna go on a regular running schedule. But, the next day comes and the coziness of your bed gives you the impulse to just sleep for the next 5 minutes which quickly turns to 30 minutes and before you know it, you’ve convinced yourself you’re not going for that run you were motivated for yesterday evening.

The alternate picture is of you getting that alarm ring, the impulse to stay in bed is still there but your thoughts of how amazing you will feel after exercise overpowers it and you get up and put your running shoes on. You go for that run and it feels amazing.

Not only because you feel physically good with the exercise but because you kept your word. It’s a small victory that you can build upon.

That difference in the thoughts you say to yourself is a big part of self-control.

On the contrary to small victories, every time you said you’d promise yourself something and fall short on that promise, you feel a sense of defeat in your morale. That can leave you down the hole of a vicious cycle for your self-esteem. Not where we want to be.

Why do people lack Self-Control?

Most of us are habituated to the instant gratifications all around us and big corporations are working very hard to make sure we’re as addicted to them as possible. That’s what keeps their bank balances bloated.

From instant entertainment available on your phone from social media to porn, we have access to distractions at a click.

But is technology the enemy of our attention or are we the enemy of our attention?

In the midst of the day to day distractions that we let loose in our life because of our lack of self-control, you might be getting farther and farther from the dreams you have.

Until one day, you decide to just settle for a mediocre life. Also, not where we wanna be.

Why take inspiration from Buddhist Monks?

The lives that Buddhist Monks live is far different from the kind of life we live.

The practice of Buddhist Monks is based on rigorous self-control. They live by a standard set of rules that is very strict and if found to be violating them would have to declare “defeat” from their community.

My father has a small flooring shop where he had hired an older man who he knew as a mutual friend. He was an older man and my father had given him a simple job of being a watcher of the shop since he lost his job and got into financial troubles in his life. This later turned into relationship troubles for him with his wife.

I was surprised one day to find out that he had left the shop and decided to become a Bhikkhu i.e. Buddhist Monk. I didn’t see him for 3 years. My father told me that he went to live in a place called Kirtipur in Nepal where monks stayed.

Then, one day when I was just sitting in the shop, he came unexpectedly in his orange robe. He had an energy and vitality to him which was missing before. He looked healthier and happier and with a newfound purpose in his life. (Where we want to be)

I realized that though how simple the life of a monk looks, it takes a lot of discipline and self-control to lead a life as such.

From waking up at 4 in the morning to meditating for hours, Buddhist Monks are some of the most disciplined people you can meet in your life. And, we can learn a lot about Self-Control from their practices that can help improve your life too.

Here are some ways you can practice self-control according to Buddhist Monks:

1. Meditation

Meditation is an ancient wellness practice that involves relaxation, focus, and awareness. It is an integral part of a Monk’s daily routine and is the foundation of the life of a Monk.

It is also the main practice that can help you improve self-control in your life. You needn’t meditate for hours at a time at all. One study gave insight into how meditating for just 13 minutes daily helped to enhance attention and memory after 8 weeks.

Often our lack of self-control is because of our lack of attention. When we don’t have focus, we quickly tend to dose over to distractions in proximity.

Meditation has demonstrated that people had improved attention and accuracy whilst completing a task.

Furthermore, meditation helps you deal with the awareness of triggers for addictive behavior. This means that a meditation practice can help you be more aware of you getting the trigger such as to binge eat and thus better resist such a temptation.

This is why Meditation is so helpful for dealing with addiction and redirecting your unwanted habits to more positive ones.

If you were to watch only one video in your life about meditation, watch the following 2-minute video about meditation in it’s simplest yet practical form:

If you are completely new to meditation, you can try out an app like Headspace where there are guided meditation available.

There are many quality videos that will come up on Youtube too if you type “guided meditation for beginners”.

There are many variations and styles of meditation present so it’s important to find what works best for you. For me personally, I had taken the Art of Living Happiness Course where I learned the Sudarshan Kriya.

It is a breathing technique I do every morning that has changed my life. I realized how powerful it was when I missed doing it for 2 days straight after consistently doing it for more than 3 months.

I felt more easily agitated and couldn’t focus as well. Then, I realized I used to always feel like this!

The practice has helped me have more self-control over my emotions, especially since I’m the type of guy who can really easily become agitated.

However, everyone’s needs are different and so you ought to get started with the basics and see if meditation is for you.

2. Create a routine and stick to it

Observe the daily routine of a Buddhist Monk. It is the same every single day.

What a Day in the Life of a Monk looks like:

4.00 am — The Monks wake up and do an hour of meditation followed by one hour of chanting.

6.00 am — They walk around the neighborhood and the locals offer them alms

8.00 am — They return to the temple and have breakfast

Before 12.00 noon — Monks have a light lunch

1.00 pm — They attend classes in Buddhist teaching

6.00 pm — A two-hour session of meditation and prayer

8.00 pm — The monks retire to do homework

Adopted from: Inside Asia Tours

Why is having a routine so powerful for self-control? This shall give you the habits that you should be doing and sticking to them on a regular basis.

It has the power to “‘automate”’ your behavior to focus on the important. For instance, do you need to put in a lot of determination to brush your teeth? It probably comes naturally to you since it has been a part of your routine since you were a young child.

Similarly, having a routine for the entire day and sticking to it can form the habits which will enable you to achieve everything you needed for the day.

From having a fixed time to go and exercise to the time you will go to sleep, having a routine can help you hack self-control with autopilot behavior.

3.Simplify

A lot of problems related to self-control can be solved by stopping to do things rather than doing more things.

Not mindlessly scrolling over Facebook for another hour.

Not smoking another cigarette at every break you get.

Not having another set of snacks you’ve been eyeing for a while.

The list is a long one.

Not doing something is equally as important as doing something.

A simple step you can take is to start writing a Stop To-Do list of all the things that you ought to stop doing.

I have found this more helpful because I believe all of us kind of know what we need to be doing. We know we need to working in our deadlines, we need to be exercising, and we definitely need to spend more time with our families.

Yet, it is the distractions and temptations that become the biggest enemies from what we need to be doing.

Buddhist Monks have decluttered their life with only the essentials.

Ask yourself the same question, What are my essentials and even more importantly for you, What are not my essentials?

4.Vow of Silence

This is an exercise that is mentioned in Robin Sharma’s bestselling book called “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari”. It’s been on my shelves for many years now because it feels like the monk in the book is talking with me when he’s giving advice.

One of the practices that is mentioned in the book specifically for self-discipline and control is the Vow of Silence, which was popularized by the Tibetan Monks.

You go an entire day without speaking except in response to a direct question.

The Monks believed that holding one’s tongue for an extended period of time would have effects in enhancing one’s discipline.

The reasoning behind it is that by keeping silent for a day, you are conditioning greater self control since each time you have the urge to speak, you are actively curbing this impulse to remain quiet.

This exercise can thus be helpful for you to get acquainted with controlling your impulses.

Bonus: Creative Envisioning

I will leave you with this final exercise that you can practice wherever and whenever you want. All you need is some time for imagination.

Everyone has at least one person who they have been influenced by. It could be anyone. In my case, I am fascinated by the philosophies of Bruce Lee.

Now, picture yourself acting as that person would act in a challenging situation. Imagine the approach you would take as that person would take and visualize yourself overcoming them.

I try this often and I find it to give me belief in myself to go on and take action on whatever I am doing.

You can try your own modification of such creative envisioning. One version that I have adopted when I’m just having a walk at night is to visualize Bruce Lee talking with me as I reflect upon the day and my actions.

I imagine what are the things he would say to me and what advice he would give me.

This sounds really weird but it has actually worked great for me to redirect my thoughts and actions towards what I should be doing.

A big part of self-control is really about making the shift to more positive and beneficial thoughts than the inferior and negative thoughts that tend to come in our mind. The above practices are a reflection of reaching this end too.

I hope you have found this article useful as much as I have enjoyed researching it!

This article was originally published in a blog I’d started called Knackbee which isn’t active anymore.